This has been quite a year. I don’t believe I have ever been in a year like it in almost my 40 plus years of ministry where there has been the opportunity for individuals to be the cause of an offense or be offended. No one is exempt! Between the “Covid” pandemic and all its related issues, the Presidential elections and all its related issues, I have never experienced an 18 month period that provided more of an opportunity for people to take offense with one another. Can the church survive this season unscathed? We can either stay offended and separate from those we don’t agree with and lose our inheritance or allow the pressure of the season to forge us into a unified “Bride” that Jesus desires in the last days. Paul encouraged the church to be focused on the latter: Ephesians 4:1-6 (ESV),
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Correct handling of an offense can propel us into purpose and destiny or delay and keep us from it all together if not handed correctly. Jesus was a master of creating situations where the individual he spoke with had the opportunity to be offended. It is clear that Jesus never read Dale Carnegie's book “How to Make Friends and Influence People”. He often used offense as a trap so that hearts could be revealed. Three examples come to mind immediately. The first is the story of the rich young ruler of Matthew 10 and Luke 18:18-25 (ESV)
“And a ruler asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 19 And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’”21 And he said, “All these I have kept from my youth.” 22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 23 But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. 24 Jesus, seeing that he had become sad, said, “How difficult it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God! 25 For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”
This man was obviously “offended” that he could not follow Jesus because it meant that It would cost him all his wealth to do so. There is no scriptural record that he did what Jesus asked. What a shame. Jesus asks us the same. What do you possess that you treasure more than following Jesus? Money may not be the issue. It could be ministry anointing, reputation, gifts or ministry position to name a few. What you refuse to give up for Him may cost you the very thing He is after; just to be a follower of Him. If Jesus is requesting you to give up something, even the right to be offended, give it up right away and follow Him.
The second example is that of the Gentile woman in Mark 7:24-30 (ESV)
And from there he arose and went away to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And he entered a house and did not want anyone to know, yet he could not be hidden. 25 But immediately a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit heard of him and came and fell down at his feet. 26 Now the woman was a Gentile, a Syrophoenician by birth. And she begged him to cast the demon out of her daughter. 27 And he said to her, “Let the children be fed first, for it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs.” 28 But she answered him, “Yes, Lord; yet even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs.” 29 And he said to her, “For this statement you may go your way; the demon has left your daughter.” 30 And she went home and found the child lying in bed and the demon gone.
Now I’m sure that I’ve offended 100’s of people during my role as Pastor at Cornerstone (none intentionally I can assure you) but I can’t recall ever calling a person needing ministry “a dog”. Perhaps it was out of desperation for her daughter that gave her resolve but she pressed in despite the obvious insult. Even though being called a “dog” had to hurt given the circumstances, the Lord was impressed by her faith and granted what she asked for. Sometimes pressing into purpose and calling requires us not picking up that “snake in the grass”. The Gentile woman who came to Jesus is an example of that.
The final example is taken from John 6 where Jesus instructs that anyone who desires to follow Him must not only daily pick up his cross but also eat His body and drink His blood, John 5:54-66 (ESV)
“Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. 55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.56 Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 Jesus said these things in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum.60 When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” 61 But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this? 62 Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? 63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64 But there are some of you who do not believe. ” (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) 65 And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it has granted him by the Father.” 66 After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.”
Spiritual truth always offends the flesh mind of the flesh. In fact, the fleshly mind cannot receive the mind of the Spirit according to the Apostle Paul. The truth always has the potential to offend those who choose not to believe it. You see, being offended always exposes the person who is still operating in the flesh.
How not to be offended? Stay low and humble. We will all be offended at some point in our lives.” Whom the Lord loves, he disciplines as a son”. That’s just the way it is. In fact, the Lord will make sure He surrounds you with people who have the potential to offend. Why? We’ll never be able to go where God is calling us both individually and corporately if we allow offense to have its way. I believe God uses offense like a building tool to expose all the things that won’t “fit” in the place of His presence.
When the fire of God comes, may it burn every fleshy thing in us so that we will possess Him. Thus, it’s crucial that we learn to both forgive and walk in forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key in conquering an offense. However, that takes courage and discipline but so worth it. Walking in grace and love will disarm the offense and take away its power to entrap you in its prison. I end this blog with a powerful verse from Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;”
Instead, practice Colossians 3:13 (ESV)
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”